Archive for May, 2006


Left PA at 4.55 am.
Arrive Nashville 7.30pm (really 8.30 but we gained an hour with the time change)

La Quinta. Spanish for “You’ll get to your room and you’ll be really tired, but have to go to the bathroom, whereupon you’ll figure out too late that your toilet is plugged up. You’ll try to fix it yourself by lifting the bar inside the tank and the toilet will overflow onto the floor. You’ll use every towel in the hotel room to soak it up. When you call the front desk the woman will tell you that she doesn’t know how to use a plunger and that maintenance will come out in the morning. You’ll remind her gently that you’ll probably have to use the bathroom again sometime before you check out. She’ll tell you that there are no other rooms available, but she’ll give you a key to a room across that hall that’s not big enough to accommodate your party, but at least the toilet works. Then you realize that if you have to go pee in the middle of the night it will entail walking across the hallway in your pajamas. You’ll resolve to go to sleep and forget that you just drank two glasses of iced tea at Cracker Barrel.

And it all went so smoothly up until that point…


On the Road Again

There, now that I’ve put that song in your head for the rest of the day…

There are 2 more days (including today) before Mom and I leave on our cross-country trek to Austin for my nephew’s high school graduation. Mom hasn’t been to Austin since Dylan was…well…1 or 2 years old. Maybe my brother remembers better when it was. I know she wasn’t out there the whole time that I lived down there. She doesn’t fly, you see, hence, the drive. The good thing is, I’ll get to play off this good deed for a looooooooooong time. Muhahahahaha.

The plan is to drive from Sellersville, PA to Nashville, TN the first day and then from Nashville to Austin, TX the next day. Around 30 hours of driving as near as I can figure. I’m banking on the adrenaline to get me there, and I’ve given myself extra time in case I can’t manage a 2 day trip back home.

Here’s the route:

We’re staying at a hotel with wi-fi both in Nashville and in Austin, and I will have my laptop with me. However, I have failed numerous times to blog while on vacation, so I’m not making any promises. But I will promise that if, somewhere in Virginia I have a mental breakdown and refuse to go any farther, I will blog about that.

Does this qualify as Ironic?

So last night I was sitting on the couch waiting for my hoagie to get delivered. It was taking sooo long. I get a call from the restaurant saying the delivery guy was having a hard time finding the place, I clarified a bit and was told to expect my sandwich in a minute or two. Ten minutes later when the doorbell rang I was STARVING, so I grabbed my wallet and wrenched the door open with what could only be classified as a disgruntled look on my face.

Standing at my door was a man with a suit and a badge.

No, I’m not kidding.

A man with a suit, and a badge, and a gun was standing at my door.

I was quietly having hysterics because my roommate engages in a sort of recreational activity sometimes frowned upon by the authorities, and at certain times, evidence of this activity is around shall we say.

Turns out he was doing a background check on my neighbor who apparenly wants to apply to the police academy. I’ve never spoken to my neighbor, I’ve only seen him out shoveling snow while wearing shorts. So I didn’t have much to say, really.

Personally, I think BPS told him to check up on me.

New Camera/New Garden

I got my camera on Friday so naturally I took it with me while we ran errands on Saturday.

I’ve decided that I’m going to create a dog montage. Starting with this distinguished gentledog who as L.M. Montgomery wrote knew that she had nothing to do but sit and wait “so she sat and waited with all her might and main.”

After running around getting all the necessary “ingredients” we set to work on the garden. Here is the garden before planting, but after all the backbreaking tilling and sifting and adding of new soil:

Now here’s a shot after planting melons, peppers, onions, lettuce, spinach, and squash. Haven’t put the tomatoes in yet. Oh, and the marigolds around the perimeter keep the bad bugs away.

It was the perfect day to be outside working. However around 3 there was a crazy thunderstorm and I was afraid everything would get washed away. They seem to have made it through OK, but only time will tell. This weekend we’ll plant the tomatoes and cucumbers and finish planting the herb garden, which I didn’t take any pictures of yet because it still looks messy.

Monday night when I got back to the apartment it was sunny, but raining and I saw a rainbow. So I took this picture:If anyone knows how to capture a rainbow on a digital camera, let me know, because this picture doesn’t do it justice at all.

That was my weekend in pictures. Back to your business.

CB Was Here

I thought perhaps with the resurrection of my blog some of you might have had a fleeting moment of curiosity about how CB and I are doing. So I’ll update.

Everything is good. Obviously it’s not easy being separated by a large body of salt water, but it’s also not impossible to deal with. Basically we make sure that we have some sort of contact (even if it’s just a text message) every day. I called Cingular and got a really good rate to call him, and he did the same with whatever crazy British company he uses. (But my rate is better–God Bless America! United We Stand and all that)

We have experienced a brief glitch as his company has given him a 6 week kilt-wearing assignment in Scotland. As he’ll be staying at a hotel, he may or may not have internet access and may or may not have a computer. Still, there’s the phone and I’m almost looking forward to improving my epistolary endeavors. Except the hand cramps, I hate the hand cramps.

As of right now, the plan is for me to spend two weeks there for my big three-oh in November. I think that’s probably when we’ll do a lot of the “what now?” kind of talking. We’ll see. But the point is we’re doing really well.

A new chapter

At my sessions with one of the surprisingly compassionate counselors at BPS I have resolved many things including:

  1. I have forgiven the person or persons who turned me in, realizing that they were only looking out for my good and the good of my blog.
  2. I have examined ways that my blog and I can inject some excitment into our relationship.

To that end (#2) I have purchased a Nikon CoolPix. Now that I have a digital camera I feel like I have the means to add some immediacy to my blog entries. I have taken some exciting pictures of my thrilling weekend. However, I forgot to bring the download cable. Baby steps, as they say.


Yesterday two men in ugly polyester suits knocked at my door. I was immediately unnerved by something about them, and I knew right away they brought me no good news. I opened the door only slightly and one of them shoved a badge in my face. “We’re from BPS–Blog Protective Services,” the man proclaimed in a stern voice, “we’ve been hearing some interesting things about you, Ms. Lori.” The other man gave an ominous nod and looked down at his clipboard. “It seems, ma’am, that you have been neglecting your blog. We have numerous reports that though you recently provided it with a new skin, that’s about all you have done to insure its welfare. It’s been seen wandering around the web unupdated [he managed to inject a month’s worth of shock, contempt, and dismay into that one word] for weeks now.”

I attempted to shut the door, but the first man stuck his foot on the threshold. “Look ma’am, we’ve been seeing a lot of this lately, this ‘blog fatigue.’ It’s practically an epidemic.”

I still hadn’t gotten a word in edgewise up to this point, but the truth was I had nothing to say. Shame passed through my body in physical waves. I could only look at my feet. I had once taken such good care of my blog. Taken such pride in my blog. Where had I gone wrong? When had this happened?

The first man was looking at me as though expecting a response. “I…I…I’ve been in sort of a funk lately, see…it’s been like, well, like Groundhog Day. Work eat sleep. I couldn’t see burdening my blog with that kind of thing. So I…well, I guess I’ve pulled away. But what you’re telling me is that people have noticed? That my blog has been suffering? That’s not what I want.”

Was that a trace of sympathy I saw on the second polyester guy’s face? “We can get you the help you need,” he said.

I know my blog and I have a long journey ahead before we can truly trust each other again. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m willing to try. My blog asks so little of me really, an anecdote here, an updated link there. Thanks to BPS, I’ve been given eyes to see past my funk to what’s really important here: writing self-absorbed, self-serving, generally unimportant blog entries. I know what I have to do.


A blog about my life and other stuff.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

Dorothy Parker, Not So Deep as a Well (1937)