Archive for September, 2004

Edna St. Vincent Millay, Letters, 1952 US…

Edna St. Vincent Millay, Letters, 1952

US poet (1892 – 1950) Posted by Hello


You weren’t supposed write back!!

So I had to write my first rejection email. I usually just wait for them to reject me. But I wrote something quite nice. Something along the lines of “I had a nice time at dinner too, but I just don’t think we are suited for each other. Thank you for a lovely dinner and best of luck with everything.” I mean, what else was I supposed to say? That was supposed to be that. He was supposed to read it, curse at the computer, tell his friend something nasty about me that night and then email the next girl on But…

He wrote back!:

Wow…ok. I have to say I’m disappointed that you feel that way. I thought we had some good witty/sarcastic banter going. But, I will respect your feelings and wish you the best of luck.

What’s up with that? “Wow”? Is that a “wow, how could you resist my manly charms?” or just a “wow, I totally read you wrong.”? It pisses me off somehow that he got the last word. I know that’s silly. But he wasn’t supposed to write back!! I wanted to write back and say, “yes, we did have some nice banter, but when I had to pay for said witty repartee, I thought the price was a bit too high. Honestly though, if I had been attracted to him at all, I would have overlooked that. So there you are.

Perhaps this is the end of my dating adventures for a while. Got a bike ride on Saturday, and maybe one on Sunday, too, depending on how my body holds up. The only prospect I have in sight is that it seems that a co-worker wants to hook me up with her relative. I’ve never been properly set up before. But hey, I’ll try it…the online personal thing surely isn’t working. The only reason I haven’t taken down those damn profiles is because I can’t get online at home, and I don’t want to get caught on those sites at work.


I don’t want to have my love life be a continuous loop of the unattainable. I don’t want history to repeat and see my heart broken again. I can NEVER feel that way again…like I was one huge void. Like I had survived some horrid natural disaster and wished I hadn’t. Like all the ropes that held me suspended had broken and I couldn’t stop my fall.

We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience.

–George Washington(1732 – 1799)

Spiritual Fathers

I’ve been thinking a lot about all the “fathers” in my life now. I lost my dad, well, it’ll be 4 years ago on October 23rd. And, as is typical, there was so much I didn’t realize that I counted on having a father around for. Not just knowing how to talk to an auto mechanic, but being there to walk me down the aisle someday, and that kind of thing. Dad and I were really too much alike to get along very well–that will make sense if you think about it for a minute. But I think my appreciation for him would have grown as I got older, and we would have been able to really talk. At least I like to think that…

Anyway, what does a girl with no boyfriend, brothers who live in different states, and no father do when she needs male wisdom or daddy-love? God has really blessed me in this regard, and has recently filled up my life with male protectors. There’s my best friend’s Daddy…she lets me borrow him. He’s always asking me silly Daddy things: Did you dye your hair AGAIN? Have you checked you tire pressure? Does your mom know you are doing that? I think that if I ever get married, and as long as my best friend has married first, I’ll ask him to walk me down the aisle. It might make my brothers sad, though. Then there’s Wayne at work. He’s my “fleet manager.” He used to be an auto technician and he tells me what to say to the ogres at the car dealership. He even talks to them for me. He can’t possibly know what a weight off my shoulders that is. I hope he does. He also helped me move. And before you get any funny ideas, he’s very happily married and I am quite happy with that. : o ) And then at church I have my spiritual fathers, Father Tufton and Father James. All the other guy engineers at work would have my back if I needed them and have done various things for me here and there. I have a whole set!!

So I might have lost my true Daddy, but I’m pretty sure he and God are up there making sure I’m covered. Sure seems like it anyway. I’m a lucky girl.

What do you think?

Well, after I had breathed a sigh of relief that Mr. GoDutch hadn’t called in 2 days, I got an email from him this morning, written last night.

Just wanted to drop you a note to say I had a great time Friday night. You were very brave to try the Sushi. Now we just need to work on that lobster thing. 😉 ” Again with the lobsters? He has no free time this week but wants to get together again. I know I’m not really attracted to him, and now we’ve set this pattern where I’m going to end up paying…

Do I just not answer the email? That’s pretty chicken. Do I say thanks but I’m not attracted to you? And include the bit of advice about paying on the first date? Although I have been hearing from some guys that if I didn’t want to pay I shouldn’t have offered. Oh, and my personal favorite…if a guy paid for every first date that was going to go nowhere, he’d be broke. Hmmm…someone out there has to be reading this. What do you think?

Today is O-day for my friend. I’m sending all kin…

Today is O-day for my friend. I’m sending all kinds of good thoughts…and this bit of advice. Posted by Hello

The Rest of the Weekend

Just a quick post to say that I did have a rest of the weekend besides the date on Friday. Saturday morning was spent with volunteers and other people from the bike club I’m pretty sure I will be officially joining. We did some trail maintence on one of the semi-local trails. It was great to be outside on a beautiful fall day. The leader was very knowledgable about conservation and ecosystems and making the trails enjoyable for people while keeping the negative effect on flora and fauna as minimal as possible.

I got to finally meet Jay, the leader of the the biking club, with whom I got off on the wrong foot (I think) at first, through an email I sent to their yahoo group. I was trying to be funny but ask a question about membership benefits at the same time, and I think I made him go on the defensive. If it was my group, I might have too…but I tried to make it up to him Saturday by working really hard. He probably didn’t even notice, but there you go.

Sunday I did a lot of churchy things and had a good talk with my friend Father James, who, by the way, was my friend before he became a preist. Oh, and watched the football. I’m still in the running for the pool at work. It’s all down to tonight’s Redskin/Dallas game. I’m strangely excited about football season this year.

So this was definitely the most boring post to date. I’ll try to be more interesting later in the week.


A blog about my life and other stuff.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

Dorothy Parker, Not So Deep as a Well (1937)